so, as you may know..I am living with my partner now! 
its great... really.. I think.. well.. it was until last night.

we had been mucking around in the the bed room after cleaning up the kitchen and doing the washing and cars etc, and his aunt started saying stuff about him.. right where we could hear her. He got so pissed off he stormed out and started yelling. I was in my black sabbath shirt and underwear.. as soon as I heared him yelling.. I jumped out of bed and got my jeans on. I have a very bad past with raised voices and yelling. I CAN NOT HANDLE IT. It makes me scared. I was huddled in the corner on the bed with the blankets around me. When he came in (as he said..) my eyes said "stay away from me".

He dropped on the floor with his head in his hands. Angry at what had just happened.. but more with himself for showing me that side. He knows my past. He knows what happens. thats why I said..
"Come up here.." so.. he got up and walked forward a step.. without thinking i yelled "no' freaking out.. ! anyway..... its all cool now..

My eating is going OKAY. not going over 1000 a day.. I try to stay under 500-700  a day.  

I <3 her shoulders. I want that. I WILL HAVE THAT!

xoxox
Laura

SO.

I know I have been away.. but.. IM STILL LOSING! i know I keep saying ill post pics soon. But im jumping from 6 computers in my house.

interesting read! (:
I spent the weekend at my partners house (yep! were still going strong!) and we had a great time (get your minds out of the gutters! I mean like.. a good time.. O_o not helping am I? anyway...) On friday night we hung out.. watched a movie or two.. then slept. on saturday we slept in and got some lunch. all I had was lunch. IT WAS MCDONALDS! I know. not excuses. but.. it was time to trick my body. I was full. We went home and watched a movie and then went for a sleep before we went out for the night.... we usually go to a bar near his house. We have the same friend, Bec. anyway.. stuff happened between some people we know.. and I got rly stressed out. now, when I get stressed I either black out or shake. I was so scared. I smoked. I sat down. I tried to breathe... nothing was working! I ended up going to the toilet to throw up. i dont know about you guys but this helps. it makes me feel a bit of control. so, we got home from the bar and pretty much went to bed. I almost passed out a few times and it hurt to breathe. i went pale and was slipping in and out of consciousness. I wa shaking so bad, and my body was in so much pain. It got to a point where i stopped breathing until my partner kept me breathing and well, pretty much alive! He got me water, he knelt by the bed to make sure I was okay. I will never forget the look on his face. EVER. worry... i dont know. He looked amazing, as always!. he made sure I was okay before we went to sleep.

so, thats my day pretty much! i dont know what happened.. so.. if you guys could maybe leave me a msg or comment on what you think is going on, i would love you forever.. and I might give you something.. like.. a motivational package.. lol.. pics, avatars, songs and a movie! =D
 Im fasting today (Monday) so if you would like to join in be my guest!

xox
Laura